Signs of Counter-Transference Feelings

  1. Getting sleepy, not listening or paying attention, not hearing a directee’s message clearly.
  2. Experiencing oneself ‘tighten up’.
  3. Becoming sympathetic rather than empathetic or becoming overly emotional in the face of the directee’s troubles, e.g. weeping at the directee’s story.
  4. Consistently undermining or missing the depths of the direcee’s feelings.
  5. Feeling an unreasonable dislike or attraction for the directee. Getting angry at the ‘unappreciative’ directee.
  6. Being unable to identify with the directee, e.g. when the directee feels upset the director feels no emotional response.
  7. Over-identifying with the directee, e.g. becoming aggressively sympathetic when the directee cites maltreatment by an authority figure.
  8. Noticing a tendency to argue with the directee, becoming defensive or otherwise vulnerable to criticism.
  9. Being habitually late in starting sessions or running over the hour with certain directees.
  10. Feeling a need to placate the directee or feeling afraid to be authentic or speak truthfully.
  11. The director thinking they have no counter-transference feelings.
  12. Etc., etc., etc. ……